Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
