I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
