BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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