I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
