what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
