no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize