I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
