He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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