And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
