I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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