I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
