I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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