just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I want her autograph on my taint
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
