Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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