i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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