Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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