So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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