Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
