So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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