i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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