birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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