I wish i was in the wii world.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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