I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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