dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
