Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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