Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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