If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
