New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
