Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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