3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we should paint friendship bongs
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
