Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize