TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
