I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
50% drunk capacity currently
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize