i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
