I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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