just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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