i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I want her autograph on my taint
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
