there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
