I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
