Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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