literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
