You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
