Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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