Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
