great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
