??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
