im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
