69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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