i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
