i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
