i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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