Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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