are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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