I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
