Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize