Your tits are I can't wait for
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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