Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
