I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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