Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
