the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Houston, we have a squirter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
