ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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