They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
